


Close My Eyes and Jump

by Ray_Writes



Series: Tumblr Prompts [50]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Post-Episode: s04e18 Eleven-Fifty-Nine, basically the dumb thing didn't happen cool?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 06:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17802392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ray_Writes/pseuds/Ray_Writes
Summary: Oliver has been trying to decide what to do since Laurel's confession in the hospital, and finally works up the courage with a few little pushes.





	Close My Eyes and Jump

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for an anonymous tumblr prompt using the theme of "jealousy". One of the things that I think Arrow used to handle well was how Oliver reacted to seeing someone he had feelings for with someone else, and it's one of the aspects of his character that suffered starting with season 3. So rest assured, there are no man-baby-wrecking-furniture moments in this fic. This fic is also set in an AU where no one on the team died in s4 since the grave plot was stupid, badly written, and purely a ratings-grab anyway. I briefly go over the basic highlights of what's different in this altered canon, but just wanted to state that at the top so there's no confusion. It's post season 4, but Laurel never died. Anyway, hopefully you all enjoy!

The two of them laughed, and Oliver frowned. Not that anyone noticed. He was making sure to keep well back from the others.

It was another team up with the Flash crew that had brought them to Central City. They’d been after a gang that had been moving back and forth between both their territories and decided to combine their efforts. Now with that taken care of, Barry and Iris had made the offer to host everyone for a late lunch at their newly purchased loft.

They’d agreed, and the meal had been fine. Afterwards, everyone settled in the open sitting room, naturally breaking off into smaller conversational groups.

And right now, Laurel was listening to Cisco tell what he assumed had to be the most hilarious story of all time judging by the way her face was lit up in a wide beam.

Maybe because Cisco had had a girlfriend at the time of their last team up, Oliver hadn’t noticed. But the more he watched, the more it became clear that the other man  _ adored _ Laurel.

And that...made him uncomfortable in a way he didn’t like to admit.

It was wrong. He knew that without needing to be told. Laurel deserved to have friends and people who appreciated her. He knew he’d been a failure at doing so in the past, even if he was trying to make up for it now. So Cisco being his usual friendly, funny self shouldn’t have been a problem, nor should Laurel enjoying his company have been a problem.

But there was also the matter of what they had talked about in the hospital, the night they’d almost lost her. What she had told him about her feelings. Present tense.

Oliver had been left reeling since that night. He had thought any love Laurel had held for him had been snuffed out long ago due to his own mistakes. He had believed it to be a fondly remembered dream. Not still a possibility.

She had left them for a time to recover at her mother’s home in Central City, away from Darhk. During that time, she’d been caught up in STAR Labs’ second particle accelerator explosion along with Wally and Jessie, granting her meta powers that matched the Cry she had used to achieve through technological means.

With this unexpected aid, they had put a stop to Darhk’s plans before he had launched any nuclear missiles, and he now sat in a secure ARGUS facility, his idol smashed beyond recognition. When the dust had settled, Oliver had tried at last to approach her about that conversation in the hospital.

“Oliver, there’s nothing you have to say. I’m fine,” Laurel had told him with one of her soft smiles. He hadn’t been able to help but notice how fragile it had looked. “I knew when I said it that you didn’t feel the same way. I probably shouldn’t have said it at all.” She had shaken her head. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“What if I am?”

Laurel had taken hold of his shoulders. “Then don’t be. I’m happy just having the team, and someday you and Felicity are going to patch things up and be happy together. That’s what you really want. And I’m telling you it’s okay.”

She had pulled him into a hug, and Oliver had held on as tightly as he dared. He hadn’t wanted to let her go.

A few short months after that conversation, Felicity had begun seeing another man named Billy and seemed much happier for it. Laurel had been coming and going between Star and Central to get in some training of her new metahuman abilities. And Oliver had been doing a lot of thinking.

He still dreamed of her, was the main thing. When he closed his eyes and really thought of the perfect life, it was Laurel at his side, smiling and happy the way she deserved to be. Proud of the man he’d become.

It was her good opinion he valued most, and her censure he had tried to avoid on multiple occasions when he’d known he was doing something wrong. He trusted her to watch the city in his absence and to care for his family. The night she had been stabbed was one of the worst he had had in his life, those few minutes where she had been hovering between life and death. He couldn’t imagine losing her. Every time he thought of her confession, Oliver’s heart both ached and yet felt full. She loved him, and the truth was that despite his own claims he would always love her. If only she knew.

He wanted to be with Laurel, yet she was sincerely convinced he belonged with someone else. How had he made such a mess of things?

Oliver tried not to frown again as Cisco scooted closer on the couch. It wasn’t inappropriate, and it wasn’t his business. His personal feelings didn’t entitle him to deciding who got to be close to her or receive her attention. He needed to accept and respect whatever choices she made in that regard.

What if she had moved on? What if saying it out loud had given her some kind of closure, and she’d decided once and for all to leave that part of her life behind? She’d said he would always be the love of her life, but what if that just wasn’t enough? What if Cisco made her laugh enough that she decided to stay in Central permanently?

“Hey, Earth to Ollie,” Thea spoke up at his elbow, and he gave a start.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Nothing, just checking on you.”

“Okay. Well, I’m fine.”

Thea leaned against the wall and smirked. “Oh, I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized isolating yourself from the group and staring at it like we’re all on the other side of a glass you can’t get through means you’re fine.”

Oliver folded his arms over his chest. “I’m not doing that.”

“Well, you were doing it to Laurel and Cisco for several minutes there.”

He felt the back of his neck heat up and hoped it wasn’t turning a noticeable red as well.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not here.” There were way too many people around for him to get into something so personal.

As if to demonstrate his point, there was a brief breeze as Barry suddenly zipped in close on his other side. “Hey guys, everything okay?”

“It’s fine,” Oliver repeated.

“Yeah, Ollie’s just practicing his sad and alone face.”

“Oh, yeah. That used to be me at every party I went to with Iris before we got together. I’m sure things will work out with Felicity in time.”

“That’s okay, Barry. I’m fine with how things are.” Oliver hoped his tone indicated that was to be the end of things.

Of course, it never was with Barry. “Really, how come?”

“Cause he wasn’t looking at Felicity,” Thea said in a small voice. When he turned, his sister was wide-eyed and looked to be preparing to draw in a large breath.

Oliver had to act fast. “Barry, is there somewhere we can talk privately—”

“Uh, bathroom, that way,” his friend said, ushering the two of them from the room. 

It was a tight fit for both him and his sister, but necessary when Thea finally shrieked, “ _ Really? _ ”

“Shh!”

“This is crazy!” She was still managing to shout in a whisper as she grabbed at his arms. “I mean when did- how did- what—”

“Thea, calm down. It’s not a big deal.”

“Uh, pretty sure you still being in love with Laurel is a big deal. This is so exciting!”

Oliver bit back what he was originally planning to say and instead asked, “Wait, you’re happy?”

“Of course I’m happy. I mean, as your sister, I obviously want you to be happy with whomever you choose,” Thea with a magnanimous wave of the hand that eerily resembled their mother. “ _ But _ I’m really excited about this!”

“There’s nothing to get excited about. You don’t even know that she — you did know,” he realized.

“Well, I do live with the woman. I mean, Laurel’s never  _ said _ , but I’m practically her second sister.” Her smug look shifted as she asked, “But when did she tell you?”

“That night at the hospital. But listen, this isn’t what you’re thinking it is. Laurel and I aren’t getting together.”

He was vividly reminded of the day Thea learned Santa wasn’t real based on her expression alone. “But why?”

“She doesn’t think I feel the same.”

“You haven’t told her?”

“I didn’t know how I felt at first!” He had to remind himself to check his volume before he continued. “My engagement had just ended, and I had no idea Laurel still felt that way. I didn’t know how to answer her at first.”

“Okay, but it’s been a few months now, so,” Thea urged.

“So she’s still convinced I should just wait for things to settle with Felicity.”

“Because you haven’t told her,” Thea stated rather than asked, then let out a groan. “You have got to stop doing this.”

“What? Doing what?”

“Leaving people guessing about how you feel. I know you have every right to hate feeling vulnerable, which is kinda why you’re trying to become a turtle right now instead of talk to me—”

“What?” Oliver straightened out of his hunched posture and uncrossed his arms. “I’m not — you can’t become a turtle, Thea—”

“—but you have to be willing to go out on a limb sometimes for the person you love. Take the jump. Because you’re the only person that can show Laurel you’re ready to give things another try.”

Oliver hung his head. She was right, and he knew it. Laurel had already confessed to her own feelings, and it was on him to meet her halfway. He just didn’t know how to make things work this time. What if he messed up? What if he hurt her?

“If you don’t say anything, then maybe she will move on, and that’s something you’ll always regret,” his sister said. “And that’s the last thing I want for you, Ollie.”

There was a knock on the door. “Somebody in here?”

“Um, be right out,” Thea called back. She reached around Oliver to turn the knob, and John stared at the both of them when the door swung open.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“It’s fine,” Oliver repeated once again, eyes on the ground.

“It  _ will _ be fine,” Thea corrected. Then she began pushing on him to get him out of the bathroom and down the hall.

Grudgingly, he went. Out in the sitting room, everyone was in about the same places. Felicity was putting on her coat since she was heading back on the train early to meet Billy for drinks, and Barry had rejoined Iris on the sofa though he met Oliver’s eyes with two raised eyebrows.

Cisco was still right there with Laurel. She looked happy.

“Look, now doesn’t seem like a good time,” he muttered to Thea.

“Now is a  _ great _ time. Besides, if I don’t make you go through with this now, you’re just gonna let it stew for the next five months, and that is never a good look on you.” Thea clapped her hands on his shoulders like she was preparing him for a fight in the ring. “Now go ahead. Straightforward, clear about your intentions. And if you can manage it, maybe a little playful.”

He wanted to argue that her various pieces of advice seemed contradictory, but she’d already given him a little push, and he began walking forward. One foot in front of the other until he had drawn up to the couch and had nowhere else to go.

Laurel glanced up at him with a dazzling smile for just a moment while she listened to Cisco. Oliver’s attempt to clear his throat got stuck, but the other man broke off anyway.

“Oh, Oliver, hey.”

“Uh, hey. What have you two been chatting about?”

“Suit designs at the moment,” Laurel answered. “Cisco has a lot of opinions.”

“Well, he did make a lot of them,” Oliver had to concede. Cisco was a talented guy, after all, and he certainly didn’t hate him by any means. He just sort of wished he could be the one on the couch with Laurel right now instead of awkwardly standing in front of them.

“Yeah. I mean, as far as suits I didn’t have a hand in go, I still have to say Laurel’s is my favorite,” Cisco said, looking to Oliver for a nod of agreement that he readily got. Laurel just smiled and shook her head. He was a natural flatterer, that Cisco. “Basic black doubling as perfect urban camouflage, the functionality, the style. And the detail work! The fishnet pattern on the gloves, I mean, what was the inspiration for that?”

“Well, Laurel’s always looked good in fishnets.”

As soon as the words had left him, Oliver wished he’d never made it off the island. Of all the ways to go about it, to try and let Laurel know he was serious, and he’d picked  _ that? _

He wished he had a drink or something in his hands to focus on so he didn’t have to see Laurel’s stunned expression. She couldn’t believe him, clearly.

Cisco’s mouth was hanging open, though he eventually recovered. “Okay!” There was a laugh that Oliver couldn’t decide whether it was forced or not. “That’s, uh, good to know.”

“Mm-hm. Cisco, if you would excuse us for a moment.” Laurel stood and fixed him with a look before marching for the door. Oliver braced himself before turning to follow.

“Good luck, dude,” Cisco said to his retreating back. He appreciated the thought.

She was leaning against a wall with her arms crossed when he stepped out into the hall.

“Okay, That did not come out the way I wanted it to,” he started with.

“Oh? And what way was that supposed to be?”

“A compliment? A- I don’t know.”

She sighed, pushing a hand through her hair, and he watched as it fell back into place around her shoulders. “Well, thank you, but you should maybe stick to compliments that aren’t about my body so Cisco doesn’t get any ideas.”

“Well, maybe I want him to.” His chest had puffed out a little as he said it, but Oliver stood firm even as Laurel looked at him in clear disbelief.

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that I’ve made up my mind, Laurel. That I know what is going to make me happy, and that’s being with you.”

She took a step towards him, her head shaking. “Oliver—”

“Laurel, I know I’ve given you plenty of reasons to doubt me. I know I tried shutting the door on that part of my life. But it didn’t work. It never works.”

“Okay, but that’s not a sign. Your breakup with Felicity had nothing to do with me.”

“No,” he agreed. “But when it happened, you were the one who was there for me, the same way you always have been. I used to take that for granted.” Oliver took his own step and reached for her hands, which Laurel didn’t pull away from. “I’m sorry I took that for granted. You are one of the best people in my life, and it took almost losing you for me to realize just how dark my life would be without you in it.”

Laurel looked down. “That doesn’t mean—”

“Laurel,” he said. He almost wanted to laugh. “I know you’re trying to do what’s best for me the same way you do for everyone, but I’m telling you what that is now. And it’s you. It’s always been you. I’ve been scared of that for so long,” he admitted. “At first I was scared of settling down because I was young and stupid and thought I was invincible. Then I was scared to let myself be happy because I thought it would never last. And worst of all, it got to the point where I was scared of disappointing you again, so I just gave up trying. But in this kind of life, there isn’t time to be scared. It’s not enough to fight other people’s battles and fears. I have to face my own, too.”

He drew in a breath and closed his eyes for a moment, needing one last moment before taking this leap. Laurel’s eyes had a wet shine to them and her grip on his hands was tight.

“Dinah Laurel Lance. I love you. And I’m sorry for all the times I’ve made you doubt that. There’s no one else I’m waiting on or trying to be with except you, even if I’m far less than what you deserve.” His gaze lowered, first to their clasped hands and then to the floor. “So I’ll let you get back in there with Cisco if that’s what you want.”

There was a pause, and then Laurel let out a breath that wasn’t quite a laugh. “Cisco? That’s what this is about?”

“A little,” he muttered, shoulders hunching. “He’s a good guy, and I want you to be happy whatever that means.”

“Well, Cisco is a good guy and a really good friend,” said Laurel. “But I think we both know it’s a bad idea for me to start something with another person when I’m already in love with you.”

He chanced looking up at her, and she was watching him with such warmth in her gaze.

“This is really what you want?”

“Yes,” he replied, not a single second of hesitance. Oliver used the hold he had on her hands to tug her closer, then let go to wrap his arms around her instead. Laurel went willingly, folding into his embrace with that sense of rightness that had always accompanied her. He turned his face into her hair, smiling to himself as her hands slid further down his back.

“You’re sure?” She asked, just a whisper past his ear.

Oliver pressed his lips to her head. “Yes.” Then he pulled back just a little to look her in the eyes. “And I promise to prove that to you every day.”

Laurel’s lips parted, and his eyes drifted to them. He bent forward, just a breath away—

The door to the loft swung open, and Caitlin jumped as she stepped out and spotted them. “Sorry! I just have to take a call. Um, I’ll go in the stairwell.”

“That’s okay, Caitlin,” Laurel said as she turned around in his hold. The other woman was already scurrying through the fire door that led to the steps, however, so she sighed, her head falling back to rest on his shoulder. “I guess you really better be sure now.”

“I am,” he insisted, bringing his arms back around her middle. “I don’t know why you think  _ I _ should be the one having second thoughts about this, but I am sure.” Any reasonable person should have been running for the hills instead of giving things another shot with him, and that was what had had him so convinced Laurel couldn’t still be in love with him.

Yet as he tilted his head down to look at her, it occurred to him that Laurel wasn’t always the most reasonable person. She was strong-willed and stubborn and went her own way whenever it suited her. Why should her heart be any different?

As if in answer to his thoughts, she gave a half-shrug. “Hey, I know how I feel.”

“Well, you’ll have to trust that I know how I feel. That work?”

“Of course.”

It was that simple, really. Laurel had always believed in him. Now he just needed to believe in himself too, that he could make this work.

She placed her hands over his and lifted them from around her, but kept the fingers of one laced through hers. “Come on, or we’re going to get caught out here again.”

“Right.”

They returned to the loft. Cisco was still on the couch but turned around to chat with Barry and Iris on the sofa, and he scooted over to make room for the both of them. Across the couch in her own chair, Thea grinned widely at him. Oliver looked away from her, as well as John’s questioning stare, and instead focused on rejoining the conversation and the group with Laurel’s hand in his.

He was done holding himself apart.


End file.
